The Curse of Eternal Revenge

Someone is causing trouble for somebody near and dear to me so I offered to invoke the Curse of Eternal Revenge. It all began many years ago when Bruce Springsteen came to St. Louis to perform at the long-gone Arena. My roommate Eileen and I were intense fans. Eileen worked in the newsroom at a local TV station. A colleague of hers had a friend of a friend etc etc who could take him and Eileen backstage after the show to meet The Boss. We both assumed I'd tag along, too--surely Bruce would not object to meeting another cute young thang. The big night came and after the show we met up with Eileen's colleague at the assigned rendezvous, a lonely stairwell deep in the bowels of the Arena. We both started to follow him and he said, Wait--only Eileen can come. We both said, What?! What's the difference? He said, I told them I'd bring one person and I don't feel right bringing two. Again we both said, What?! But he was insistent with that kind of attitude only a real asshole possesses. Eileen said she wouldn't go and I said, Don't be insane, go meet The Boss! I put on a happy face but I was enraged. As Eileen disappeared down the stairs with her colleague and as I sat alone on a step somewhere in the Arena for about 20 minutes, the Curse of Eternal Revenge was born. Over time I got over my anger and forgot about the whole episode until a few years later. Eileen's colleague was diagnosed with a horrible disease and had to quit his job. Today he is confined to a wheelchair.
I realized the Curse of Eternal Revenge may have some heavy mojo after another situation really pissed me off. I was rushing back to my downtown St. Louis office around lunchtime and decided to stop at a little deli on Market Street for a carry-out. The place was mobbed and I didn't really have time to study the menu board so I just ordered a chef's salad, figuring that's a safe choice. I paid $6 or $7 and was handed a smallish plastic container with iceberg lettuce, some carrot and cheese shreds and a sorry looking tomato. I said, Wait there must be a mistake, this isn't a chef's salad. The cashier said, Yes it is. I said, I changed my mind. He said, you already paid for it and you're holding up the line. I could tell I was getting the evil eye from everyone behind me so I left. I was so angry when I got to the office I immediately banged out a letter to the manager telling him about his rip-off salad and rude cashier. A few weeks later I realized I had not received an apology or a coupon or anything from the deli. Time to invoke the Curse. I think it was a couple of years later I saw on the news that the deli had been shut down due to a hepatitis outbreak. Several customers were sick and one was in intensive care. He eventually died.
Not long after that I briefly worked for a small advertising agency whose owner was a crook and a liar. He was the type of person who used office postage to send thank-you notes for wedding gifts. Three of us who worked for him bought a lovely orange tree (fertility and all that) for him and his bride (whom he impregnated in the back of a car and lied about the due date to try to qualify for health insurance; it didn't work). Later he asked my co-worker, What kind of cheapass wedding gift is that, a tree? Once he opened a sealed envelope to substitute his name for the art director's on a contest application (which we won and the art director got the credit she deserved; the asshole never said a word about it). I could go on and on but you get the idea. One day I hit my limit and quit but not before invoking the Curse of Eternal Revenge just on general principal. I'm sorry to say this loser's baby was born with a heart defect and had to undergo several surgeries (happily he was okay except for having to endure that idiot as a father).
More recently I worked for a state agency whose upper management was a group of morons. The head of my department was a tall woman who was completely in over her head. She spoke in a whisper and polished her nails during meetings, which she frequently called without warning and which made everyone shiver and shake and hyperventilate. I have to admit she intimidated me at first, until one day she wore short sleeves and I got a look at her hairy man arms. That cured me. Two of her underlings, devout Christian mid-Missouri men in their 30s, shared a cubicle and giggled together all day. One of them was my boss who I just couldn't connect with. He was very critical of my work which was unjustified and frankly, something I wasn't used to. His complaints consisted of nitpicky crap, such as something wasn't strict AP style (although it flowed better) or this should be a comma, not a semi-colon--basically stupid power-tripping BS. I despised him and after one ridiculous meeting over some nonsense I just had to invoke the Curse. Soon after, I was finishing up a project and stayed at work later than usual. I needed something from the office complex across the hall where this guy worked. I was stunned to see his half of the cubicle was empty, although he had been there earlier in the day. I asked a colleague who was working late what was going on. She said he had been escorted off the property that afternoon. To this day no one knows exactly why, but the rumor was he had been surfing porno sites at work.
There's still an active Curse of Eternal Revenge out there. It was invoked against a former colleague who had the capacity to approve advertising in a newspaper I published for a while, which would have been a big help, but for whatever reason she never did. Occasionally I Google her to see if she's alive or dead or whatever. I don't like to waste my Curses and have that mojo floating around aimlessly.

UPDATE 5/10/09: Regarding the final curse, it is still active. The curse-ee is alive and working in a major Midwestern town. I could cancel the curse against her but I don't care to. And so we wait...