Today is my birthday--the traditional time to reflect. I'm feeling a little pressured because a friend is coming over later and the house looks like it has been hit by a tornado--so does Abigail the sheepdog. What I really want to do is grab my camera and get into the woods and take a few pictures of things I saw out there a few days ago--curious rock formations, trees with secret openings, green things starting to pop out of the ground. Maybe in a while I'll take Abigail (and my camera) for a walk, THEN clean her up for company.
Turning 57 is just wierd. It's my first birthday without a mushy birthday card To My Daughter from my mom, carefully selected by her from a big box of all-occasion cards I found in a drawer. She'd want to take me to lunch in St. Louis and charge it on one of her way-too-many credit cards that I wish she had told me about (the pay-up-or-else letters from her creditors have finally stopped coming). Jerry baked a chocolate cake for me, from scratch, and after we go out to dinner at the new round restaurant at the top of the Doubletree Hotel (my choice), we'll come home and light candles and sing Happy Birthday to me. I'm looking forward to it!
Obviously I'm staying home from work today and wishing I could do it more often. I have Classic Soul music on and I'm singing along. There's really nothing to complain about--and I'm not. Except, I guess, I don't like how fast time goes and how hard it is to grab it. I have a lot of memories, and on the other side of that, a lot to look forward to. But how in the world could I be 57 years old?! I feel the same way I've felt for many years. Of course, I don't see that fresh face in the mirror any more. And I do move a little slower. And if I have to get down on my knees or on the floor (to look for something or put something away), it's really, really hard to get up again.
3 comments:
Gee, Pam, we've been friends since 1971, which is 38 years, which is more than half your life.
And you're still six months and 20 days older than me!
Happy birthday!
You may not think you look fresh-faced, but a lot of 57 year olds would love to look as young as you do. You've still got a lot of zip left before you're REALLY old. Robin Williams is 57 and he's having an aortic valve replacement;a 55-year-old friend just had a stint put in an artery; and another 55-year-old acquaintance had a stroke. No valves, stints or strokes for you, so that's pretty darn good. It's like David Frost said when someone asked him what it feels like to be old, "I don't feel like I'm old; I feel like I'm young with something wrong." So, if you get down on the floor and it's "really,really hard to get up again," look at the bright side: at least you ARE getting up again.
Anonymous, I apologize for not knowing who you are, though I've tried very hard to figure it out. Please reveal yourself! Thanks!
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